Courage

Ivan had a football game yesterday and beginning early in the day I prayed very specifically for certain things for him and his team. I asked for protection-both physically and emotionally for Ivan and his team mates. I really didn't want to see my boy hurt. I asked for a real courage for Ivan, as he tends to hold back a bit in the play because of his tendency to be shy. Funny that he loves football so much! But I asked God to fill him with courage so that he would experience the satisfaction that comes from taking a risk. And then I boldly asked God, if it was within His will, to give Ivan's team a win. Selfish, I know, but I thought it was OK to humbly ask.

Long story short-as I was driving around a city I don’t live in, looking for the nearest hospital so that Ivan’s wrist could be x-rayed, I had to ask God why he hadn’t answered my prayers. It wasn’t long before God graciously pointed out that He had. Ivan was showing an incredible courage in the face of much pain and in the possibility of his football season coming to an early end. He was protected in the fact that we found an emergency room that was not crowded, and with a doctor who was gentle and caring and thorough. Not what I asked for at all, and yet so much more!

I love my God. I love His faithfulness and provision. I love that I can trust Him to do what is best, even when I ask for and want “easy”.

I have to say though, that it is hard being a Mom of a 13 year old boy! When he was in pain, I wanted nothing more than to hold him on my lap and comfort him, but we are in a stage where we show our love in different ways other than touch (and this with a boy that used to be my constant shadow and “cling-on”). I am totally OK with this stage and with allowing him to grow up and become a man, but oh, how many times I reached out to touch him yesterday, only to stop my hand before I made him feel awkward. I suppose part of letting him grow up and exhibit that very courage I asked for, is to let him deal with his pain in his own way. I know deep inside he was glad I was there and that he needed me, but it’s the outward display of his need that I miss. Maybe Ivan isn’t the only one who needs courage.

As for the other prayer I prayed: Ivan’s team lost. Badly. But I am trusting God in that as well. How could I not?